Friday, September 4, 2009

The importance of NOW

"I do not yearn the future; nor do I long for the Past.
Both of these options, I believe are escapes from the challenge and sometimes the pain of living in the present.
I thus believe in blooming wherever I'm planted or, more appropriately, regularly replanted.
And so I joyfully try to make do with wherever and who-so-ever I am"
- Farid Esack

This simple, powerful and profound statement confuses me.
On one hand I am so impressed with his clarity and control over the mind and emotions. On the other, I wonder, can living according to these ideals ever be enough? Will it actually feel complete, or does it mean mere 'existence' and not 'living' in the true sense.

The beauty of life lies in the 'memories'. Some that you look back upon with a frown; and certain others that leave you wishing that you could go back to that very moment- wishing it were frozen in time because everything seemed so 'perfect'. The past can never really be erased, no matter how much one wants it to be; and this is one of the most important lessons that we learn in this journey. For me, the most important person in my life can today only exist and breathe inside my head. If complete self control means letting go of this yearning for 'what once was', I doubt it is possible, even for the mentally strongest amongst us.

And looking to the future: dreams, hopes and ambitions- is that not what fuels life and adds meaning to it. Can we be ever be satisfied living like mere fish in the ocean, with no sense if direction, no desire to find out what lies on the outside?

Reality is sometimes wonderful, easy and happy- in the good moments, we often tend to lose a sense of reality, living in a protected bubble. In these times it is the future which brings us the UNCERTAIN, the unprepared for, the struggle; For life cannot always be a bed of roses. In times of distress, when nothing seems to be going right for us, when despair seeps into every pore- the HOPE and PRAYER for a better tomorrow inspires us and takes us through like the flame of a candle in the darkness.

Farid Esack's words however, I cannot choose to ignore. There is so much wisdom and so many years of experience that has gone beyond his thoughts. The vision behind his words inspires and the simple message seems to call out. 'The most important thing is to live in the moment; cherish the life that is now.'

I ask for the sense that enables one to simply strike the balance! :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Social Networking and the 'E' word

An interesting comment on the relationship between Narcissism and the internet sparked off this post. Also, just a couple of days earlier I had come across an article on net-addiction which will surface later in the blog. Social networking has become as important as any other ‘basic amenity’ for most of us today; one day without Facebook or Twitter and we feel lost, disconnected from the rest of the world.

‘God! I was away this weekend, can’t wait to log in, there is so much catching up to do’, or ‘Listen, my net is down; can you check if somebody wrote on my wall’ have become common elements of conversation. Honestly, I cannot remember how I used to keep tabs on my friends before Orkut or Facebook came along, it seems like so long ago.

This irresistible pull that micro-blogging and social networking has today is much fiercer than say the desire to catch one’s favourite show on TV. Even in college, all that I want to do in between classes is (no, not facebook) go on the internet; and this totally stupefies me because I have always been a person who has ‘hated’ the computer. (It is a strong word, but I actually felt very strongly about this not so long ago). Anything to do with this machine and I would be the last to volunteer; the more the distance between the comp and me, the happier I was.

In Journalism today, CONVERGENCE is the word of the hour; if one is not the jack of all trades (the basics of print, radio, internet writing and television) there is absolutely no room here. This leaves people like me with no option but to look at the internet in a new light, and truth be told it is fairly simple to get hooked on to this world wide web, even if one detests it initially- it is in reality, ‘no rocket science’! :P

After that long intro, down to the details. An acquaintance remarked on the narcissistic nature of social networking sites earlier today. After a lot of thought, I realise that it actually holds true to quite a large extent. Subconsciously, we have all fallen prey to this alter identity crisis.

Narcissism is the feeling of ‘self-love’; it also treads on the waters of Egotism. It is generally used in the negative connotation to signify a sense of superiority over the others. This is propagated to a large extent by each one of us with an account on any SN site.

How many of us can identify with even a few of the following: looking through lots of photos to find the right profile picture, or when someone manages to capture a decent frame during dinner or evening out, running back home and the first thing you do is to upload it that very night? Thinking of what to say on your status message- typing out something only to delete it midway because it simply does not sound right, why does it even matter? Logging in at regular intervals after we have written a note or uploaded a video to check if somebody has commented or even just ‘liked’ it are examples of self-obsession; whether it is a conscious gesture or not.

In a warped way, this ‘publicising’ of our personal lives and intimate details seems to bring pleasure and a certain degree of entertainment to our otherwise drab lives. These online profiles become so much a part of our ‘real’ lives, blurring further the lines between the real and the virtual. The added pressure that we have willingly enslaved ourselves to, is this phenomenon of social networking.

Now, not only do we have to dress, act, behave and conduct ourselves in the right manner in the real world, but it also extends to internet sphere: the right picture, the right people on your friends list, the incessant wall posts to a friend who you meet every day in class or your sister who is just across the hallway in which you have to sound smart and funny. This unhealthy quest for perfection of ‘self’ can be quite disturbing if not restricted.

Sigmund Freud once said that humans are born without a sense of themselves as ‘individuals’, without any ‘ego’. It is during childhood and youth that certain individuals pick up the idea of a perfect self.

Social networking has guaranteed that even the most quiet and naive persons have a sphere to get up and be noticed. It is the instant ‘pep-up service’ in life; it does not matter how terrible your day at work has been, if six friends have ‘poked’ you and three have written on your ‘wall’- the day suddenly seems much better indeed!

Narcissistic in nature or not, social networking has become an integral part of my routine. To keep in constant touch with those who matter to me and to share my every moment with them and vice versa is a feeling that cannot be described. So is this sub-consciously feeding to my ego? Well, I sure as hell hope not ;)